S.P.E.A.R. ‘Coast to Coast’

Staring at the New York City skyline, I stood there thinking, “A few weeks ago, I didn’t have power.” Now I was on the second leg of my band’s coast-to-coast tour of America. This was after Super Typhoon ‘Sinlaku’ devastated our home in the Marianas Islands. By pure chance, S.P.E.A.R. embarked on a trip that began with a show in Oakland. In gratitude to those who believe in what we have to say, we were empowered by our efforts to reunite with friends at the Asian American Unity Fest.

Since releasing our debut, Invasive Species, we have had the honor to play with the hardcore bands No Model and Sour. That brought our message from Guam to Japan last year, along WITH THE SPIT. A bunch of punks converged, irrespective of their circumstances. Or the storm that lay ahead. We ended up bonded in Shin-Okubo, fulfilling lifelong endeavors together that would reconnect us in Brooklyn earlier this month. Till then, I was between a dream realized and nature’s resolve. My aspirations as an artist were coming to fruition as I became a first-time father.

ACT I: The West

I haven’t been on the West Coast since I broke my leg chasing my ambitions to create something in San Francisco over a decade ago. A lot has changed since then. Unlike our time together in Tokyo, my wife would wait for me back home, along with my 2-month-old daughter. I have a family now. A result of turning my turmoil into triumph over those 10 years, from returning to Guam in pieces to mending the parts of my life I left behind. It’s the story I’ve told through my debut beat tape, zine, and indie band To The Hill. The path led me to California once again. Music made the call. S.P.E.A.R. was set to perform at Stay Gold thanks to RNRG, who booked the show in Oakland with our guitarist, Thomas. There, we played our latest release alongside sick bands Skingraft, Caveman, and Eliminators.

Between the audience and acts were new friends and ones I hadn’t seen since they moved from Guam. The Bay Area is home to a lot of Chamoru diaspora and many island locals who have relocated. Everyone we met welcomed us with a familiar warmth. It was also great to finally hang out with our counterparts in the twee band of lovely punk rockers, Star 99. The whole thing went great. We spent 4 days enjoying the state's surroundings from our hotel, which was close to where I lived in SF all those years ago. I got to eat at the only spot I still thought about since leaving, a cafe named Mymy right across the apartment I briefly shared with my close friends and roommates. This is also the last place I saw my cousin Franklin before he passed away. To be there again in the city after all that history was a meaningful experience. To seemingly be redeemed after all the hard work to maintain myself in the process, thanks to the grace of others. After many Hispanic meals and heartfelt goodbyes, the band left the venue for The Big Apple next.

ACT II: The East

The moment the band stepped off our flight, we were on our way to catch more live music. It’s become tradition to use our time on the road to enjoy a concert or two. We managed to watch the band Subsonic Eye when S.P.E.A.R. played in Japan. Our guitarist, Chris, took us to see Soulblind back in Cali. Then Thomas got all of us on the guest list to see Drug Church, White Reaper (RIP), Public Opinion, and SPY. He’s filled in on guitar on the latter’s tours on occasion. After a killer set by each group and 32 hours of being awake since our first gig, we caught up with SPY by their van after the show. They are some down-to-earth dudes for a bunch of absolute rock stars. I had a blast hanging out with them as we went out to grab what I believe is the best pizza I’ve ever had at this place named Rosa’s. Their vocalist, Peter, was kind enough to gift me a hat from their merch table. It’s Something I’ll cherish as much as this memory.

I reflected as we went sightseeing the next day. It’s difficult to reconcile this tour with our region's recovery from a natural disaster, especially with my wife and child back home. Everything from our house to the workplace was a mess after the typhoon. We were lucky to get functioning utilities before I left. I doubt we’d be here if it weren’t for that miracle. I had my baby’s onesie in my travel bag from before we could do laundry to keep her scent close. I missed my girls dearly. We were fortunate to escape the maximum damage that islands like Saipan, Tinian, and Chuuk were dealt. So we raised funds for Typhoon relief on each coast. Sehun of No Model also kindly donated half of the proceeds from the Real Asian Hate zine to the same cause.

We ran into him and a few members of Sour on our way to grab coffee in Williamsburg. IT was so nice catching up with them all in person again before the show. Even nicer was bassist Dan for gifting me a stack of Bionicle comics. Receiving and seeing these childhood relics was very special since we chatted about them online. Everyone reconvened at The Meadows later for the gig. We got set up with an interview outside the venue with The Paperbblog writers, arranged by Chang-Hwan, and with gear I could use from Pocholo of No Model. The generosity of both these bands has meant the world to us. A great way to start what was Day 1 of AAU Fest.

We witnessed significant sets by the likes of No Model, Initiate, Dog Breath, Cherub Chains, Brainwashed, Plagues, andNo Value. Our band, S.P.E.A.R., was once again honored to share the stage with such crucial acts. American hardcore is filled with contrived musicians. That's what makes these artists’ honest perspective more important for the genre than the attention it currently receives. The experience in the room between the vendors and the community felt like a village overall. There was a shared excitement that accompanied every introduction as I met various people and band members through the night. I even got to hang out with a few friends from back home who currently reside in New York. The kindness from everybody almost makes you forget how active that pit was getting anytime a band played. Stage dives galore. Familiar enough, even for a fish out of water.

Day 2 of AAU followed a perfect night I’ve since enshrined. The festivities continued at Gold Sounds. There, I examined more sick styles of slam dancing. Enough culture in action to make National Geographic jealous. S.P.E.A.R. was able to set up merch amongst the nice spread in total. Right next to our new friends in the band Cujo, who we befriended at the same hotel we all booked in Brooklyn. We watched them execute along killer sets by Ferment, Clock Out, Too True, and Silent Spring. Getting to see Sour play their record ‘Heaven, U.S.A.‘ again almost took me there. They destroyed my expectations and devoured the stage whole with guest spots by the end of their set. I fucking love that band.

As the evening drew to a close, I realized this adventure was ending. After a week of travel, I found myself outside in the cold of an 'afters' bar in Williamsburg, where everyone headed inside for karaoke. The gigs were over; only goodbyes remained. The dream of touring America had become a memory—we did it. The last thing left was to watch Thomas sing 'Losing My Religion' by R.E.M, then catch a 20-hour flight. We packed up and returned home, reflecting quietly on the whole experience during the journey. The anxiety I felt was replaced by a deep sense of validation. I couldn't have done this without my bandmates, and for them, I'm eternally grateful.  

The culture of D.I.Y. punk is alive on both coasts. That’s evident in how special the Asian American Unity Fest is. Every part of it is assembled with intention. All of it was done with a lot of heart. Thanks to Sehun and the organizing team. As well as Otto and RNRG on the west. As colonized islanders, we aren’t privileged to experience a lot without some sacrifice. It’s with sincere gratitude towards everybody who makes this possible that we complete this voyage. The work of Chris, Thomas, our drummer Kyle, and vocalist Machalek puts us beyond our physical capacity. To be able to tour with S.P.E.A.R. coast to coast is life-affirming. We returned home to our loved ones, ready to set our next target.

Photos by Pure CHance.